Empty Spaces

Guess what i came across while procrastinating today:

My silly little diary from highschool back in 2005. I had my friends and class mates sign it at the start of the year. It's really quite interesting reading back on some of these - I'll post some of them on here.

> oh i don't think i've really introduced myself on my blog before so from now I guess I'll be known as "Dan" - why? :-P because its an easy name (that and also its the name of my housemates bf).

1) Hey Dan, you're a great guy, your fun, kind, loving, smart, generous along with many other talents. So don't you ever change because in the past 11 years I have known you, you've been a really loyal friend. And for that I thankyou! <3 Always Zoe

2) Hey Dan, your awesome! your such an honest person and i really like that about you! you were great at that disco! you really got up there and shook your thing :-D <3 Lisa

3) Dan buddy, your a smart kid, and good friend, and don't make the school bankrupt! Shane (in response to me being Treasurer of the Student Representative Council)

4) Dan, you leave an impression on everyone. It's like you rub off a little bit of goodness onto everyone! Seniors '05'! <3 Naomi

5) Hello Dan, I don't even know you that well, but over the past couple of days, you seem like a nice, quiet person and I would like to know you more. <3 always Roselyn

6) Oi dude, thanks for taken care of my girl last night. Your Aiight with me! Braden (Holy shit! I had no idea that he was her BF. :-P i kinda took his girl out on a date)

7) Dan, you are a genuinely nice person with fantastic qualities. Go for it! Peter

8) Dan, your a good bloke who i think has a big future. i wish you the best of luck mate. Brendan

9) To my date :-D Thank you so much for being my date! you were a perfect gentleman. I hope everything you dream of comes true. Set your goals high because you will reach them. Lianna. (:-P my date, who was Bradens GF. Seriously i had no idea they were goin out)

10) Dan! The nicest guy i have ever met! You are so cool and i <3 you this much
<-----------------------------^.^-------------------------------->
hehe your cool! <3 Always Monique XXOO


11) Dan :D you know how much i love you already but im so telling you again! your my favourite!! I love how fun you are and how we are besties! Your so special and smart.. you will go so far in life so never forget me and our awesome times. Love lots hun!! <3 Celly ..Muah

12) I have seen two sides of you. One at school - quiet, and out of school, ready to get involved! I wish for you all god has to offer in your future! Cheryl

13) Hey little buddy, your so sweet caring and sincere. I would love to get to know you better! <3 you Kelly (haha its funny, but i have known you since 1st grade. okay..in your defense though, you moved away a few years later and only just moved back.)

14) Dan, you are an interesting person who can do anything you put your mind to. Remember, you are my friend and I will always be there. You are a true friend and I shall never abandon you, I only ask that you do the same. John*
(reading this one was really touching. he was the first person i came out to. it's really sad because i haven't seen or talked to him for almost 4-5 years. I hope he's doing alright)

15) Hey Dan, your a good, smart bloke and a real chick magnet mate! good luck in the future, peace out! James. (Another sad one to read, because James passed away in 2006)

16) Dan? whats good to say about you? NOTHING!!...


Jokes. lol. Nah man, me and you will take over the world, be rich RICH i tell ya. Best luck in the future <3 ya heaps. your a great guy. But OMG still need to be LOOSER GOOSER!! Ty*

(:-( He was one of my closer friends in highschool. He is bi from what i've been told, and in retrospect, he really did try to open up to me, but he came on a bit too strong and i was really confused back then so i sort of shunned him and we had a falling out. i haven't talked to him since)

17) Dan, how can i start this? Well not to sound too corny but I just want you to know that i look up to you as if you were a brother to me. THanks for everything. Mark*


These were just some of the more memorable ones that my classmates and friends posted. The ones with the * are the ones written by my closer group of friends, and i've changed their names for anonymity.

So from reading back on these, I've gathered that this is generally what people think of me:

- Smart, Intelligent, high achiever
- Nice, caring, friendly, generous, honest
- Quiet

I sit here and wonder, is this how i really want to come across for the rest of my life? People always see me as the 'nice, quiet and friendly' guy. I guess its good in the sense that I get along with everyone, but these traits don't make me an interesting person do they? It doesn't really make me stand out, and in a crowded room, i'd probably dissappear pretty quickly in the sea of more outspoken, more outgoing people. Maybe people will use me, they'll see me as easy, and a pushover.

But i can't help it if thats who i am. :-(

I reckon, if i tried this sort of excercise again, I'd pretty much get the same sort of responses. Its almost as if the whole 'nice, quiet, friendly' response is the default or automatic response because people can't think of anything else to say about me.

Anyway, it was just interesting coming across my old diary. It made me feel happy inside. I might keep this diary, and read it whenever i'm feeling a bit emo.