How to Arrange Everything inside a Big Closet?
8 years ago
I think somewhere along this thing we called life, I have forgotten about how it feels to be happy. I have forgotten HOW to be happy. I am unable to comprehend what happiness is.
Everything that would lead me to what I would believe to be happiness, has been taken away from me, and pulled out of reach. Instead I am given an ultimatum. And so I face a major dilemma.
It's a constant battle everyday against the darkness inside that claws at me. I put on a 'happy' mask to front the world, not really knowing what 'happiness' is or what it's supposed to feel like. Not understanding. Not wanting to reveal the emptiness inside. The pain is unbearable.
I have come to a point in this thing called life, when the only thing I know for certain that I want, and I know for certain would be the quickest way to happiness or what I know of it, is death. The thought swirls in my head. It tempts me. It tells me about how all my suffering can end. It can vanquish all my emotional turmoil. Death disguises itself as happiness, and right now, at this very moment, that is all I want. To be happy.
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1 comments:
You can be happy and live. Yes you can. But you NEED to head to a hospital and be evaluated for your extreme depression. There are meds availible to help yu feel better. It wont be an over night fix, it will take a bit, and you have to be mega good about taking them right on the dot regular.
Please, please PLEASE go to a doctor and get some help. I adore you and want you to come thru this onto the other side of the blackness and pit of dispair into happy land. You deserve to be happy, you can be happy, you just have to be brave enough to live and fight for a better life.
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