Empty Spaces

There's just so much inside my head. I just want to let it all out. I just want to be free of all the burdens of life. I want someone to hold me, to love me, and to tell me it will all be okay. I don't' know of any other way of letting it out. So I cry myself to sleep. Hoping that by the time my tears dry, things will be better.

2012

I dont know what to think of it.
I lose what I thought was a friend.
I gain a friend.
I step out of my comfort zone
I give my heart to have it taken for granted.
I feel used.
I seek satisfaction elsewhere.
I look for something better.
I feel a great sense of guilt and remorse.
I end it.
I feel unappreciated.
I move on.
I reply to the message. I try to mend the bridges. It's hard when the bridges are burning on both ends.
I prove to him by submitting to him. He sees to the bottom of my deepest pool of secrets.
I have nothing left to hide. The bridges burn.
I lose him. We never had the chance to end things on good terms. And now i'll never be able to because he's gone. Forever.
I have no light at the end of the tunnel.
I miss my mum. I wish her all the best. I hope she gets better.
I want to be able to reciprocate his feelings, but I've moved on. He's becoming the person I needed him to be all that time ago.
I want HIM so badly, not him, but HIM. but I know I'll never be able to have HIM.
I want to feel loved.
I will guard myself. I have developed an inherent distrust. Never again shall I make myself so vulnerable