Empty Spaces

I've had the worst weekend :-(. I still feel a bit down from the other night, and on top of that I just feel so exhausted physically. I've had the hardest time trying to sleep. I never seem to be able to wake up refreshed.

I had a dream last night. I woke up in a funeral hall, and the dead people rose from their eternal slumber. They were all weilding weapons, mainly blades of all sorts. I tried to turn on the lights but the lights wouldnt' work. These Zombie corpses came at me from all directions and did everything in their power to put me into an eternal sleep. No matter what I did, they just never seemed to die even after stabbing and wounding them.

And then THEY came. From the skies they did. And with a watchful eye over the world, they controlled my every move. And the moment I deviated from their plans they had for me, the skies would literally come crashing down on top of me.

I somehow reached a place, where there seemed to be a warp zone where multiple versions of reality merge. I see multiple versions of myself. But we all knew that only one of us will be able to pass through that point. once passed that point, history can repeat itself, and time can rewind itself back to that merging point. If my future doesn't turn out as i had wanted, i find myself back at the warp zone, with multiple versions of myself. Only one of us may proceed again into the future, while the rest of us are obliterated by THEM.

I just know that I'll never be able to have a fulfilling life or future, and so I did something really stupid that i wont mention. I put my life at risk because I just did not care anymore. And i said goodbye to my clones and told them to not be what i was. And then i cried as i watched and waited for THEM.

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I try so hard and i search in every possible place and way I can, but I can never find him again. I wish he would come back. Theres a huge void he left in me when he left me, and now all i feel is darkness.