How to Arrange Everything inside a Big Closet?
8 years ago
I kind of feel like im coming to the end of the road and not really knowing how much further I'll be able to go. It seems like im coming to a screeching halt. There's so much thats expected of me. I've been conditioned to feel guilty whenever I dissappoint. I feel like I've travelled down the wrong road and its too late to turn back.
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Matters in life: Im on new medication (Escitalopram), had more bloodtests done, made an appointment with a new Male counsellor under the Mental Health Care Plan my doctor prescribed for me, and also made another appointment with my other counsellor.
Been really busy with work that I haven't had a chance to think. Which is a good thing, until I realise that its only good because i've brushed everythign aside.
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Old news, but yeah I came out to Nick. So he knows. He said that he had known from the start, and that it was pretty obvious. That makes me wonder. If it was so apparently obvious to him, is it also apparently obvious to other people? Was it so apparently obvious to EV? I can't believe its been 6months since the Charlie/EV incident. I still havent seen EV. I've talked to her briefly a few times but nothing more. I still dont know what Im going to do or how I feel about her.
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Glad to see you're working with your doctor and counselors. That's great. Give the drugs a chance to work, it isn't an overnight thing, but friends I've had that used similar prescriptions had good results. So chin up!
Congrats on coming out. Don't be so sure that Nick "knew". I hear that all the time, and I just say "yeah, I'm sure you did" because at least in my life, unless you've slept with me, you can't possibly know. It's not like we wear a neon tattoo on our forehead that says "I'm gay, but you can't know this until I tell you!" I don't think, unless you exhibit "stereotypically gay" traits such as a "limp wrist" (you know what I mean), people can't tell. And if they can, and don't say anything, then it doesn't matter, does it?
Peace <3
Jay
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