Empty Spaces

Im kind of worried right now. Worried about whether or not I've made the right decision.

I spent over an hour, staring at my computer screen. Over an hour thinking about what i'd do, and what i'd say. Where I'd start. You see, on my screen was the phone number for the student counsellors at my university.

I stared at that number, and I felt anxious, nervous, scared and slightly nauseated just thinking about it. Im so afraid right now, that im sort of trembling.

Im nervous and there is a part of me that wishes that i had never had never picked up that phone and called that number.

Now the reality is hitting me. Im going to have to truly admit that I have problems. Im going to have to open myself up. I feel so vulnerable. Like i've never felt before.

I've put this off for far too long.

Ben, I know you read this, even if you dont comment, but you're right that im going to drive myself insane if I dont get help.

This is for you, Ron, Biki, Ben, Winter.

My first steps.